Twin Flames: The Connection Between Trauma and Creativity - An Interview with Jamie Conway
“With great trauma comes great art” is just one of the insightful lines given by Jamie Conway in our recent interview. Jamie is an editor here at Jack Wild, but she has also published a debut collection of poetry 2 A.M. Debris centered around the human condition and the nature of being. Each poem in the collection is connected through an overarching storyline of in Jamie's words “a lesbian woman utterly consumed by material love.” What follows is the extinguishment of those flames, and what remains – her ash and debris after the fire of passion – is scattered by the winds of change. She takes a long journey to find the light within, and readers follow her footsteps from the shadows, feeling every shaky breath and burning heart along the way”. In my interview with Jamie she revealed the inspiration behind 2 A.M. Debris is trauma- a vulnerable and insightful admission behind her creative process. Through out our interview Jamie provided further insight into her creative process and sources of inspiration in her writing:
Q: What does it mean to be creative?; where do you find your inspiration and passion to create?
A: Being creative to me is all about the ability to relate. I tend to take the most emotionally intense moments of my life, from trauma to love and friendship and turn them into art. That way, it becomes a healthy outlet and expression of my thoughts. But I also think it’s really important to send that message; there’s a good chance that other people have experienced what I have, and when they read it, even if it’s just one person, they can relate to it and find relief and guidance in it. To me, it’s important just to help people feel that, because the world is just so numb, you know? To feel anything is a gift, and to know we’re not alone in that feeling is essential.
Q: How did you navigate having your own lived experiences as inspiration- did you find it challenging incorporating fictional elements into your reality?
A: I think it can be challenging in various ways, most notably in terms of vulnerability. Taking my trauma and emotional intensity and putting it out there as writing is like opening a window to my soul. And knowing that there are people I’ve never met reading parts of my soul like that can be daunting, to say the least. There are other issues to consider as well, like revealing too much. While this collection is based on a previous abusive relationship I was in, I couldn’t reveal too many specific details for the sake of my privacy and hers. At the same time, too many fictional elements takes away from the authenticity of my piece, so it’s a delicate balance to maintain. Ultimately, I’m really proud of the way it came out and I think writing and publishing it gave me a sense of closure I needed in a way.
Q: What was the pivotal point in which you thought that your trauma should be poetry- what advice would you give to someone who wants to use poetry as a source of healing?
A: It’s actually kind of a sad story. I don’t think I should go into too much detail about the title, because it might be too revealing. When we were dating, I started writing this collection as an expression of my affection and I promised her I'd publish it one day and tell our story. As our relationship developed, I slowly realized I was not in a good situation and was being abused. After our relationship ended, I'd only written the first chapter “Fire”, which represented the fiery and passionate aspects of our relationship. So I looked through that and realized there was so much more to tell, and that’s where those flames got extinguished into “Water”, the second chapter. A few weeks of writing, I started to recover, and that’s where “Wind” comes in, like trauma. Then eventually, “Light” to top it all off, when I discovered what true love is supposed to feel like. It’s not fire, it’s light. As advice to those who want to use poetry for an outlet and a source of healing, I’d say be honest with yourself. The first draft can be messy and raw and all over the place, and let it be. Know that you’re the only one reading it and don’t hold back. And when you’re ready for the world to see it, that’s when you can refine it. Remember that others are going to relate to what you’re saying and use it as guidance. In that, find comfort in their healing. Know that you’re helping people and let them help you, too, We grow together when we share our debris with each other, the dirt leftover after the fire. And know that I'm proud of you for expressing yourself, because it takes great courage to open your soul up to the world in this manner, and there are people who can’t wait to accept you.
Q: How would you say you came to develop the more technical side of your writing style?
A: I wouldn’t say there’s a specific technical side of my writing, to be honest. I very much enjoy freeform without a rhyming scheme, though there are times, like in “Tilting the Universe”, where I follow a very specific structure and rhyming scheme for emphasis. Generally speaking though, I like a slow build up, free form, with a powerful final stanza aimed at creating a pause and moment of reflection.
Q: What advice would you give to people who want to ‘be creative’ and are there elements you reflect on from your own writing journey that you wish you did differently or that you were really proud of and will use again in future pieces?
A: Advice to those who want to be creative is to not overthink it. I know that’s easy to say, but honestly, you are the only thing standing in your way. You are the bridge between silence and using your own voice to make waves. Recognize that you have something important to say and say it, even if only one person connects to it. You’re the only one who can say it. And it’ll be worth it. You don’t have to ‘be creative’ you simply have to be. I’d say procrastination is a big part of my writing journey that I’d wish I handled differently, because I could've been publishing much sooner. It took a while to realize that there is no such thing as writer’s block, there is only fear. Fear that I won't have anything interesting to say, fear that people wouldn't enjoy it, fear that I couldn't phrase my thoughts accurately…That’s what we perceive as writer’s block. Because something will come of it, whether it be a renewed confidence, an idea for a different poem or one golden line. One thing I really enjoyed about 2 A.M. Debris was the element of a story being told. It’s not just a collection of random poems put together in a book, it’s a cohesive, linear story that the reader can follow. Like a novel, it wouldn’t be the same with a chapter missing. I definitely like this form and will certainly use it in the future.
Thank you so much Jamie for the opportunity to interview you on 2 A.M. Debris, your creativity born from your trauma, desire for healing, and connection to your audience. To be creative is to be more than just idyllic, it is to be vulnerable and raw- it is to be entirely expressive of your own lived experience. Jamie’s 2 A.M Debris is all that- it reads beautifully, it is both personal and provocative and is definitely a powerful read.
2 A.M. Debris by Jamie Conway can be purchased here.
